Taken from the album Faith in Me recorded in Papua New Guinea, 2012.
Somewhere deep inside, I think I must be broken.
Any way I try, I’m too hard to change.
I’d like to step outside and close the door behind me
To look upon the person You said that I could be.
And if I’d been paid each time You turned away,
I think I’d be amazed at my poverty.
Beyond where I can go, just beyond my limits,
The everlasting arms are waiting to embrace
This prodigal returned, this squanderer of riches
The one who nailed the hands I now find holding me.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just
To forgive us our sins and cleanse us from unrighteousness.
© 2008 JG Songs
This song tries to capture the rawness of a life lived without a full realisation of all God has done for us. I’ve spent my whole adult life recovering from my childhood. Most of the time, I can’t help feeling as if I’m really not quite there yet.
God’s grace is big enough for all this. The eponymous poverty is at once the state of my soul while also depicting the number of times I can count when Christ turned me away.