There were times when I was wrong
I thought I was right.
There were times when I was lost
I tried to guide you to the light.
There were months when I was helpless
I never asked for any help at all,
And I grew old but none the wiser.
I never knew I could make you fall.
And every now and then I stumble.
Is that enough to make you leave me?
I’m terrified each time I take a tumble.
I begin to doubt that I’m the man you need.
Am I the man you need?
There’ll be deep disappointment
Sure as day turns to dark.
There’ll be thorns upon the roses
Leaving scars on your heart.
There’ll be times when I will fail you.
I can promise that for sure.
Will you be there for to lean on?
I wonder if you’ll answer when I call.
© 2013 JG Songs
This is probably one of my rawest songs and, for that, I think it’s one of the best I’ve ever written. I was facing the fact that my now ex-wife was not going to “be there for to lean on”, I recorded this using GarageBand on an old iPhone I got off one of my students while I worked in Saudi Arabia.
I had time on my hands. There was nothing to do, nowhere to go, and my wife wasn’t picking up her phone (hence the last line of the second verse). I poured this into the lyrics and set about figuring out how GarageBand worked. I realised that I could make a great recording booth built from all the cushions from the sofas in my living room covered with a blanket. It wasn’t big enough to record the guitar in, but I crawled inside it to do the vocal.
I put a fair bit of time into this and all of what was left of my heart. Then, when I finally got back to the UK on leave that summer, I played it to my (soon-to-be ex-)wife.
She didn’t say a word.
All I have for the formation of this one is an early draft which you can listen to below. It’s pretty much the same as the final version except for the chorus where you can hear some early ideas I had.